Get your mind out of the gutter. I’m not going to actually tell you how J and I are trying to make a baby. Hopefully, if you’re reading this blog, you already know how that all works.
The stork, duh.
Right, so now that we have that covered, I’m going to talk about our journey to expand our family. We thought that it would be in the world’s best interest to have another adorable replica of ourselves. We are willing to make that sacrifice. We are givers, what can I say. Case in point:
But guys, here’s the thing: it’s not always easy to create life. When we got pregnant with E, it took us about a month and a half after he got back from his deployment. Wam bam thank you ma’am. And now, here we are, SIX MONTHS after J got home from deployment and there is a still a vacant sign on my uterus. What the h.
In all honesty, I know six months isn’t a long time in the trying to conceive world. And I know other people have struggled for YEARS to have children (my wonderful, beautiful, STRONG neighbor is one of them, as well as one of my closest friends). We are lucky that we have E and we are so very grateful for her and for our health. But in some more all honesty, that doesn’t always make me feel better (I know that probably makes me sound like a brat, but I’m trying to be truthful about my feelings here so bear with me. Or just close this page. Whatevs).
However, if you’ve ever been in the baby making boat, you might know what I’m talking about. You’re anxious. It’s all you ever think about. Every little twinge, pain, poke, and sore spot on your boobs makes you go, “PREGNANT?!?!” Then you pee on a stick and it’s a big fat negativo. Or Aunt Flo arrives as an unwelcome guest. Either way, your heart sinks and you flip back on the neon vacant sign *sigh*
If you’re lucky enough to be like me whose periods come oh, maybe every other week and then skip a few months, you never know what the flippity flip is going on and you’re constantly on edge. I swear to the One Almighty that I have peed on more sticks than a damn beaver in a stick field (is that a thing? I don’t think it’s a thing, but let’s pretend it is). I never know if I’m late because I never know when my period is coming. I’m not regular. I’m far from it. And its annoying.
If I was regular, I’d be getting close to Aunt Flo coming for a visit. But I don’t know if she’s coming because she’s flaky and never calls beforehand. Rude. Either way, I’ve taken a few tests. Four-ish. In 5 days. I say –ish because I can never keep track anymore (damn you Dollar Store tests! So cheap and so convenient).
So I guess we just keep trying. I know J doesn’t mind. I know I shouldn’t stress about it. I know it’s all in God’s hands and there is a reason for His timing on this. But damn it, I want things to happen when I want them to happen!
WAIT. Do you hear that?
It’s God laughing at me.