You know, these guys:
October 15th is National Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Day. If you had asked me a year ago if I thought I’d be a part of this day, I would have laughed at you. Because the thought of us having one miscarriage was unfathomable after having E. Then we had two. Then three. Now I’m grouped together with the women who have experienced the same or worse things than I have. What a bummer.
If my first miscarriage pregnancy had been successful, my little one would be 6 weeks old. It is also two days shy of my estimated due date with my second miscarriage. I would be about 20 weeks along with my third miscarriage pregnancy, and we would be getting ready to know if we were having a boy or a girl.
But none of those things are happening. Instead I will be driving the million miles to the nearest military hospital to get some more bloodwork done to see what’s going on with my broken uterus. It sucks, majorly, but this day is about so much more than that. Instead I have called off the Amber Alert on my period because- NEWS FLASH- she arrived. It surprised me while we were on a family trip, because Aunt Flo is awesome like that. Thank God my smart mother told me to take tampons “just in case” the change of air pressure from flying swept everything out. So if your period is missing, just take a long plane ride to make her show her ugly face.
BUT this day isn’t even about that. It’s about my TWO YEAR OLD DAUGHTER.
That’s right, she’s TWO today. Two going on twenty from her vocabulary and her attitude lately, but that is for another post.
If two years ago you asked me what October 15th would mean to me today, it wouldn’t be this. Not because of the miscarriages, even though those were unexpected. But rather it would be because of my daughter. I would never in a million years be able to dream up a little girl as wonderful as E. She’s smart, sweet, kind to her friends, lover of all things babies, and just…amazing. Its hard to describe how much I love her and what she means to me, but I guess that’s how it is for all parents. The words are never enough.
I will never forget the day she was born, namely because she peed on me right away (gee, you’re welcome for pushing you out of my VAGINA). She was so tiny, so perfect.
E has grown up so much over the past two years and I can’t wait to see what her lifetime brings to her. I love you so much, E. Happy birthday sweet girl!