Today I’m like those drama faces

You know, these guys:

DramaQuite a few things mark this day today. One really awesome thing and a few not so awesome things. Let’s start with the not so awesome things, since I’m a glass half empty kind of girl anyways.

October 15th is National Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Day. If you had asked me a year ago if I thought I’d be a part of this day, I would have laughed at you. Because the thought of us having one miscarriage was unfathomable after having E. Then we had two. Then three. Now I’m grouped together with the women who have experienced the same or worse things than I have. What a bummer.

pregnancy-infant-loss

If my first miscarriage pregnancy had been successful, my little one would be 6 weeks old.  It is also two days shy of my estimated due date with my second miscarriage. I would be about 20 weeks along with my third miscarriage pregnancy, and we would be getting ready to know if we were having a boy or a girl.

But none of those things are happening. Instead I will be driving the million miles to the nearest military hospital to get some more bloodwork done to see what’s going on with my broken uterus. It sucks, majorly, but this day is about so much more than that.  Instead I have called off the Amber Alert on my period because- NEWS FLASH- she arrived. It surprised me while we were on a family trip, because Aunt Flo is awesome like that. Thank God my smart mother told me to take tampons “just in case” the change of air pressure from flying swept everything out. So if your period is missing, just take a long plane ride to make her show her ugly face.

Patent pending.

BUT this day isn’t even about that. It’s about my TWO YEAR OLD DAUGHTER.

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That’s right, she’s TWO today. Two going on twenty from her vocabulary and her attitude lately, but that is for another post.

If two years ago you asked me what October 15th would mean to me today, it wouldn’t be this. Not because of the miscarriages, even though those were unexpected. But rather it would be because of my daughter. I would never in a million years be able to dream up a little girl as wonderful as E. She’s smart, sweet, kind to her friends, lover of all things babies, and just…amazing. Its hard to describe how much I love her and what she means to me, but I guess that’s how it is for all parents. The words are never enough.

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I will never forget the day she was born, namely because she peed on me right away (gee, you’re welcome for pushing you out of my VAGINA). She was so tiny, so perfect.

Newborn Evelyn

E has grown up so much over the past two years and I can’t wait to see what her lifetime brings to her. I love you so much, E. Happy birthday sweet girl!

I need to file a missing person’s report.

If you read my post a couple days ago, you’d know that E and I have been traveling. It was a short flight so that was nice, but traveling just takes alot out of a person. Especially a small person who doesn’t have her own seat on the airplane.

E has been a cranky tired mess since we got home. She has pretty much cried non-stop. I’m guessing this is because she doesn’t have a constant playmate anymore like she did when we were visiting her cousins. Another reason why she really needs a sibling.

But now we are back to “real life.” Life after the chaos of experiencing multiple children in a household. I am back to the normal every day stresses of our home stuff, like WHERE THE F IS MY PERIOD?!

Yes, that is my main concern right now. Not my new day school in which I will have several little munchkins nipping at my heels three days a week. And not going back to school. And not this race I have in a month. Nope. Its totally and completely my damn Aunt Flo.

Aunt Flo

Except she’s missing. Stupid. 

Seriously, this chick is a skank. She never tells me when she’s coming, she’s ALWAYS late, and she hurts me like Chris Brown would if Rhianna was a uterus (too soon? Whoops). Its been 6 week post-D&C and I’ve been waiting. And waiting. And waiting for this chick to show. The stupid thing is I’ve been waking up almost every day saying, “Today’s the day!” like its my freaking wedding day (uterus style), but alas, she is still missing.

And the cops just laugh at me when I ask to file a missing person’s report on my period. Jerks.

Cops Laughing

Its not that I miss the cramps, bloating, and feeling like someone is stabbing me in my stomach. And I know J doesn’t miss the awesome moods she puts me in. But its that I have to sit here and wait for longer and longer to do any testing or to even *think* about TTC again until she rears her ugly little head.

Like I said- skank.

But, as one mom put it, all my issues with infertility have done *some* good. For one, I’m sharing my story with others. Also, I have been able to throw myself into things I’ve wanted to do for a long time but have put off because of baby making/not really baby making like fitness, starting my own business, and going back to school. So even though Aunt Flo is awful at RSVPing, at least she’s giving me a chance to cool my jets and focus on some good things for our family.

Oh, and uh, we’re planting trees today. Not like, “Oh let’s save the Earth and plant some trees,” type trees. We’re planting trees so we don’t have to look at people in our neighborhood. More like, “Get out of my face trees.” But they are apple, pear, and cherry trees so at least they will be bearing some fruit. Unlike someone else in this household (achem, myself…)

So I guess we’ve got alot going on. But its fun right now. And after a week of seeing life with 3 kids (really 4), I think I need to take a break from the idea of having more than one child. That was traumatizing.

Enjoy your weekend, ya’ll.