I have a troll in my uterus.

If you follow me on Facebook, you would already know that I had this awesome procedure done on Monday. It involved this wonderful instrument:

Photo: Just walked into my doctors office for my saline sonogram to see if there are any blockages in my uterus. Like little uterus trolls or something. I will have a post up this week to tell you all the joys. This should be awesome...
#infertility, #sis, #salinesono, #wheredoyouthinkyoureputtingthatSweet.

It was called a saline sonogram or SIS. Basically, what they do is stick that giant thing in me along with a catheter filled with water to fill up my uterus to see if there are any blockages (aka trolls) in my uterus preventing me from keeping my pregnancies.

The process itself wasn’t all that painful. When the doc inserted the catheter there was a little pinch, and then I could feel the water going into my belly so that was uncomfortable. And then there was all that probing. Ugh. But all in all, I wasn’t n so much pain that I wanted to kick the doctor in the face like the *few* times I got a brazilian wax. I’d take this over a brazilian any day.

The process took about 35 minutes but I couldn’t see the screen so I had no idea what was going on. Not that I would know anyways. And then they sent me in another room because “they had to confer with another doctor.” Because that’s what you want to hear when you’re at the doctor’s office and they took a million pictures of your insides.

The doctor finally comes in and says my uterus is a “good shape” and my ovaries are a “good size.” Cool. So what was the conference about? Well, apparently I have an unidentified structure/mass in my uterus and they aren’t sure what it is. Doc said that it should have prevented me from getting pregnant at ALL so he’s surprised I had the miscarriages in the first place. But now I have to go in for surgery in a couple weeks for them to remove it and biopsy it.

You know, because it might be cancer.

If you’re anything like my parents, you probably think I’m freaking the f out. But I’m not. I walked out of there surprisingly calm. On the one hand, I’m happy they found *something* that may have caused the miscarriages. And maybe if they take this troll out, I will have safe and successful pregnancies here on out. And there is no reason for me to freak about it being cancer for the next couple weeks, because that won’t help at all. I won’t know until they get the biopsy results back.

So we will do the surgery, called a hysteroscopy, where they will go in through my who-ha with a camera and check this ugly thing out and then remove it. Its outpatient surgery but I’m still using it as a good excuse for Starbucks and not to cook that night.

I will be keeping you posted as the surgery happens and what they find out. Hopefully this is our answer!

Oh, and J and I are running our first race together on Sunday- The Marine Corps Marathon 10k. Check out my Facebook page for some updates on the race and how J had to push me in a stroller on miles 4 through 6 (probably).



Things I learned from my siblings in the past week

Anyone who knows me in “real life” knows that I have two older siblings. But they are *much* older. Like 6 and 8 years older. So pretty much I’m still young and they are just old. I kid, I kid.

As a kid it was more obvious that my siblings were older. By the time I was in middle school, both were in college. I didn’t really have to share my things or a room, so sibling rivalry wasn’t an issue. And now, as adults and all of us being married with children (ha! I used to love that show!), we don’t even notice our age difference. At least I don’t- but maybe they actually look at me and think, “She”ll learn one day…”

However, after this past week I can say that my eyes were opened to a whole new world of organized chaos. I recently spent a week with my brother and his family, and I was paying very close attention as to what its like to have more than one person crying and hanging on your arm at all times. I guess it’s because J and I have had so many issues with fertility lately that I was looking at their little family and thinking, “Could I really handle this all? E and another baby, plus J, the house, and everything that goes with those responsibilities?” It was like God was giving me a peek into what life might be like one day…He’s all, “I tried to warn you and you aren’t listening, so here’s how sh*ts going to go down.”

After a week, I still can’t answer that question for sure. I’ve taken care of several kids on my own on a regular basis, but I could always give them back at the end of the day. I’ve had a newborn, but not with another kid around. I don’t know if one is ever ready for adding another person to your count but in watching my SIL, who is also a milspouse, I found that we are the toughest breed and a few (or lots) of tears, fighting, and everyone needing to eat RIGHT NOW won’t phase us.

Despite my own insecurities about being able to “handle it all” if we are ever blessed with a sibling for E, I did learn a few very interesting things in my visit with them though. Some kid related, some not…:

1. More kids CAN actually be easier- In total there were four kids in the house. And even though it was crazy, I found that the short times I had all 4 it really wasn’t that bad. The older ones played together, the oldest could help me with the baby, and babies actually sleep alot. Bt, I am realistic in that I was only with them for a few hours by myself, they were good to play together because they don’t see each other that often, and I didn’t have to worry about cooking or cleaning. Hence my insecurities.

2. I learned how to use a Diva Cup- I had heard of this…interesting…device and mentioned it to my SIL. We didn’t know how one might use this thing, so she YouTubed it. Go ahead, take a look if you dare.

3. Circumcision is an art- Apparently some people like to tell their doctors how much to “trim” when their little boys are born. Like its a freaking haircut. “Oh doctor, I’d like it shorter on the sides but leave a little extra on the top.” WTH. (For the record, this is just something my SIL mentioned to me, not that they did this!)

4. Always have food- Snacks cure all. For everyone- adults and kids alike.

5. Put your kids to work- Make sure they keep up with their responsibilities, and that they pitch in with chores. Around toddler age, they can throw away diapers, get their own things, put away their toys…it’s just one less thing for you to do. Even if you just have one kid right now, teach them these things early so they are already used to it when another one comes along! That’s why you had kids right? Free labor.

6. E is going to be a great big sister- She wanted to help with the baby in everything we did with him (sometimes a little forcefully, but she had good intentions). She loved on him, snuggles him, and her internal maternal instincts were apparent. She’s going to be an awesome big sister. I hope we can give that to her.

I really enjoyed my time with my brother and his family, and I know E did too. She learned so much from her cousins, she loved snuggling with the baby, and we had a great time. Family is so important to us and I’m grateful to my family and to God for giving me a sneak peek into what life *might* be like one day.